3. Competing needs: This is a big one. Put simply, sometimes you have needs that are completely different from your partner’s, and vice versa. It’s not always an issue, but when these needs are opposing, there can be complications. For example, you might need more connection and intimacy, while they need more space and alone time. Even though this is extremely common, it often turns into feelings of rejection and all kinds of other misconceptions. Simple communication and reassurance can help quell any pain points with competing needs.
Let’s say you’re the partner who needs space. It would be helpful to reassure your partner by saying something like, “Hey honey, I love you very much, and right now I need a little alone time to just decompress. Let’s make a date night to spend quality time together tomorrow.” That way, your partner hears your needs while you also commit to a time where you’ll fulfill theirs, too. Compromise is important here, especially if we have competing needs.
About: Jessica Baum, LMHC is the founder of the Relationship Institute of Palm Beach and creator of the Self-Full® method — a therapeutic path to personal wellness and freedom from codependence. Jessica holds an undergraduate degree from Fordham University and a master’s degree in mental health counseling from South University.
As a certified addiction specialist, her focuses are chemical abuse, codependency, and anxiety. She is also a certified Imago Therapist, bringing her compassionate and effective relationship counseling experience to families, couples, and family programs within addiction treatment centers. Jessica has extensive training in psychodrama and experiential therapy, and is additionally skilled in cognitive and dialectical behavior therapy. Her training also includes EMDR and Post Induction Therapy, and she has a wealth of experience supporting trauma patients.
Jessica’s own personal core belief is centered around the importance of connection, both to oneself and the outside world. She believes the crux of most personal struggles can be attributed to a lack of true understanding and personal connection, and that it is this sense of disconnection that ultimately leads to pain. Jessica founded the Relationship Institute of Palm Beach to help heal, foster happiness, and restore hope in the individuals and families she works with. Learn more at www.RelationshipsPB.com and www.JessicaBaumLMHC.com.