Allison Kugel: When I was telling my team about our interview, one of them said, “Oh, he’s a somebody!” My first reaction was, “Yes, he is!” Then I thought about what makes someone a “somebody.” Is it how much money you have? How popular you are? How many people will show up to your funeral? Or is it really how many people you have in your life who love you, not because of what you can give them or what you’ve achieved, but simply because of who you are? Does that resonate with you?
Oscar De La Hoya: Oh, yes. We are all somebody, right? It’s funny you say that because I was always somebody when I was at the height of my career; when I won the Olympics, when I got back from the Olympics and won world [boxing] titles. I felt like I was somebody to everybody. Everybody knew who I was. Everybody knew The Golden Boy Oscar, the Gold Medalist, the World Champion. And now that I’m going through this process of finding myself, I don’t need that validation anymore. I’m somebody to someone who loves me. I’m somebody to someone who really cares for me and wants to make time to know me, so that is what I care about now. I’m no longer just somebody because I’m “The Golden Boy.”
Allison Kugel: Right. I feel like in your documentary film (The Golden Boy, out July 24th on HBO and MAX streaming), when you were talking about your life from childhood and then through the height of your boxing career, that was all you wanted. You wanted someone to say, “I love you. I see you. I hear you. You’re important to me because you are you.”
Oscar De La Hoya: Yes, and all these years I was just going through the motions. I was training, fighting, making appearances, having meetings, getting pulled left and right, and traveling. I just never had the chance to say, “Hello! I’m right here. Do you know who I really am? Do you care to even know?” The years go by so fast when you are living that moment every single day, every single minute of my life. I was always surrounded by people, all the time. A lot of times I was surrounded by people I didn’t even know, and so what people have to realize is that when you are by yourself and you have those thoughts in your head, and people are not pulling you left and right, and you’re not “The Golden Boy,” then who are you? After I retired from boxing I kind of lost myself. I lost my identity. I lost who I was. I was this [mentally and physically] conditioned kid at six years old who had to be the champion of the world for everybody.
Allison Kugel: In the beginning of the documentary there is footage of you as a six-year-old boy in a boxing ring, fighting in amateur fights that your father had you boxing in. Was that your normal at that age, since you didn’t know any different?
Oscar De La Hoya: It became normal because that is exactly what I had to do. That is what my father forced me to do. At that age when I won my first fight at six years old, my life changed. I remember when I was like ten, eleven years old feeling like my family was changing towards me. Now I’ve become this commodity. Like, “If I help little Oscar right now as a kid and buy him some boxing gloves or little hand wraps, maybe he will remember, and he can help me out when he’s older and has money.” I felt like that my whole life.
Allison Kugel: Wow! Do you have anyone in your life, now, who tells you they love you and that they are proud of you? I hope you do.
Oscar De La Hoya: Yes, my girlfriend (fitness model, Holly Sonders). She is my “one person” who tells me that, and she is my best friend. She tells me all the time, “My gosh, you’re doing great. You’re good. You’re a great person. I’m proud of you.” There is a part of me that thinks, “Wait, why are you telling me this? Are you sure?” It’s that kid coming out because I was conditioned so much. It wasn’t love back then. It was just like, “Okay, Oscar is the ‘chosen one.’ Let’s see what we can get out of it.”
Allison Kugel: It’s crazy that it was prophetic in a way. Your father said to you, “You’re the one. You’re going to take us out of these circumstances.” What is crazy about it is, that you did become extraordinarily wealthy, and you did, in fact, give back to the people of East LA. That’s a lot to put on a kid, but at the same time, he was right.
Oscar De La Hoya: Exactly. It is very strange, and it’s those exact demons and confusion that I had to fight with all the time. My life has been so confusing because nobody gave me a handbook after I won the Gold Medal at 18 years old. No one gave me a handbook and said, “This is what your life is going to be, and these are the correct decisions to make. This is right from wrong.” Nobody ever explained to me what life is all about. I never had my mother sit me down, or my father, and tell me, “Son, this is going to happen in life.” I never had that. I had to learn along the way.
Allison Kugel: How old were you when you got your first $20 million check?
Oscar De La Hoya: I was about 22…
